he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
