Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
