so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
