All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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