the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize