guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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