try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
