Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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