she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
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He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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