Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
