never play flip cup with pint glasses
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
