I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
