you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize