Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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