I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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