yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
