yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
