I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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