New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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