she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize