Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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