i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
