I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
