Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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