But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
two words: eviction party
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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