is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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