I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
