Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
