i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
