"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
