If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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