Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
