3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
