That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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