You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
