Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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