i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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