I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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