what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
