I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
