i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
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Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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