You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
