But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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