Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
