u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
