hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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