"it" just moved
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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