Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
