Just cropdusted the office
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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