she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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