Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
