I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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