She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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