i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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