this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
