Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
