Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
