Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
