dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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