I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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