Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
