No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
