he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I need water and some morals
Randomize
