i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
