The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
