Actions speak louder than pants.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
